Today, I saw an update on my newsfeed about a recent interview with Eva Mendes. I was happy enough to open the article and review it, and I even watched a video of her interview (see it here) since I respect and admire her as a woman in the film industry.
Her interview talks about her new baby, as well as something that really REALLY bothered me. She said (or joked) that:
Sweatpants are the "number one cause of divorce in America"
I was so stunned by this statement and it really starting eating away at me. I decided to write an open letter to her to convey my reaction to the statement she has made.
You can read my letter below:
Dear Ms. Mendes,
First off, I want to commend you for having a successful career. For as long as I can remember, I have seen you in multiple films I have enjoyed in which I thought you did a good job playing your role. You are undoubtedly a good actress. But let's get something straight: it seems you know very little about the modern American marriage.
Perhaps you thought saying that wearing sweatpants ruins marriages was funny. Well, to some people I am sure it was! However, in what world do you live where you would even jokingly say that it's the "number one cause" of divorce? Imagine how this makes you look. Or, imagine what kind of message you are sending to other women (and men alike) who admire and look up to you as a public figure.
Marriage is a sanctity built on love, trust, friendship, and devotion.
What exactly about sweatpants is going to stop a loving couple in their tracks? When Adam and I met in high school, I lived in sweatpants. College? Loved wearing sweatpants frequently. When I work from home, I work from the comfort of sweatpants. Now, are you trying to tell me that because I wear sweatpants that Adam will stop loving me and leave me? What exactly about wearing comfortable fabric gives you that idea?
The only logical explanation for why you would even consider making this kind of statement would be because you think that women who wear sweatpants stop caring about their appearance, or because women who wear sweatpants are not intimate with their spouse. Let's get something straight, sister. I go to the gym, I brush my hair, I wear makeup, and I even get dolled up for date night. I buy lingerie and I have a healthy sex life with my husband. Just because I wear sweatpants doesn't mean I don't actively try to look good for my husband.
And here is what is even more baffling for me: do you feel deep down that your husband only married you for your looks? Because if so, I feel sorry for you. A husband should love and cherish you no matter how you look on a given day. If you feel insecure enough that you cannot let your guard down and kick back in a comfy pair of sweatpants, then maybe you need to re-evaluate the quality of your relationship or look deep inside yourself to heal any wounds you have that give you such uncertainty.
As a wife (and as a woman), I encourage you to really reflect on this statement you have made. Women public figures often do not comprehend just how great their influence is. Perhaps you may have joked about this in an interview and never gave it a second thought, or maybe you are already regretting going there. Also, I hope that you have a talk with your manager if you were coached to say that in an interview.
I am sure I am not the only one who saw this headline and was completely taken aback. With that said, I still think you are a great actress and I will still see you in movies! I just hope that you (and other actresses and actors) really consider what kind of message you send to your fans--even if it is just a joke to you.
Owner and Blogger at OurMiniFamily.com